Fighting the Good Fight

wow, so my last post was pretty gloomy. But, as we all know, it usually gets worse before it can get better...

So Shannon got all lined up for her radiation treatments, and actually went through two of them. Before doing it, they sent her for a PET scan to examine lymph node involvement and get a baseline measurement for her tumor. Well, at her 2nd appointment, the radiation oncologist grabbed her into a side room. The lymph nodes were okay, but the scan turned up suspicious spots on Shannon's liver. The liver is generally the first place this cancer spreads to. While they can't tell for sure if it's cancer or not (suspicious spots can be cancer or any number of other conditions which cause sugars to burn quicker than normal), they thought the best course of treatment now is to stop radiation and instead attack this thing with a more broadband chemotherapy. That means no more chemo pills. This is full on, intravenous chemo.

Now, let's let me work out why this doesn't mean the end of the world. First of all, Dr. Hermann was quick to point out that he has several patients who had it spread to the liver who have gone past the 10 year mark still cancer free. Also, looking at wikipedia, when the cancer is isolated in the liver in small spots, you can do surgery to "resect" the liver and the prognosis for that is above 50% over 5 years, rather than the grim 5% that Stage 4 would usually quote you. And we still don't really know that it is cancer, it could be nothing.

So today was Day 1 of chemo. And we got our first snippet of good news today. Comparing the blood work from this morning to the blood work taken last week, Shannon's tumor marker has already dropped after just two treatments of radiation. So it looks like the cancer should be responding well to the treatments. Chemo treatments will be long...2 hour wait in the beginning while blood work confirms her cell counts, then 3-4 hours of infusion, followed by a 46 hour infusion pump. But the whole staff there? AMAZING! They constantly shower you with attention, ask you if you need things, explain everything, ask to see your kids, the whole deal! And they even made sure to get Shannon a day bed with a window today so she'd have a nice comfy treatment.

So that's that. This is going to be a long tough journey for Shannon, but everything in my head is telling me she can beat it. It will suck, but everyone at Hopkins has been awesome and made this experience a lot easier to go through.

When Life Takes a Crap On You

It's kind of hauntingly ironic that my last post talked about a new era between having a 3 year old, a new born, and dieting...

Shannon's weight loss concerned her doctor, so they sent her to a GI, who thought she probably had IBS but sent her for a colonoscopy as a pre-caution. During that, they found a large growth low in her intestinal track, so large it prevented them from going any further. They took a biopsy of it and sent her for a CT scan and bloodwork. We knew right away, from the diagnosis codes on the CT scan order, that the doctor suspected cancer. Half a week later, we got the heavy news...cancer. Various CT scans have shown no mestases, so that's good, but still...CANCER?!

Through some gentle prodding by families, we decided to start working with Johns Hopkins, since they have a specialty center for these type of cancers, rated #3 in the world. So, this week was pretty swamped with appointments. Met with a surgeon on Wednesday who dropped another rock on us...The treatment plan won't just be surgery. Radiation and chemotherapy for 4-5 weeks before, followed by chemo for 4 months after the surgery. Now, in fairness, the reason they are doing this is because with this type of cancer, there's really good results shown when you go for this type of treatment. As one of the oncologists described it, you want to try to kill this thing in one shot, rather than being conservative and having to battle it 3 or 4 times. Still, it means a lot of changes and isn't something that'll be fun. On Thursday, Shannon went for an MRI in the morning, then met with radiation oncologist where they laid out what was going to happen with the radiation. On Friday, we met with medical oncologist to discuss the chemo piece, Shannon got another CT scan, and then she had her simulation radiation treatment. That should be it for the initial appointments, now it's just waiting for the treatment to be ready to execute.

I wanted to blog this because I want to ask anyone I know to pray, hope, send good thoughts, or whatever your own spirituality allows, send it Shannon's way. She has been really strong up through this point, taking in a lot of information and rolling with the changes this is going to bring, but this is definitley emotionally tolling, and once the treatment starts, that's going to be just a little heavier to bear. We're optimistic, everyone at Hopkins is really great and this is a very well studied cancer, so the treatments are something that has been shown to have a high success rate. And everyone knows Shannon...she's head strong. She's not going to let this take her under. But please send any good thoughts you can.

Another thing you can do...So a way I can combine being a supportive husband with the fitness I've been trying to improve. The Undy 5k in Washington DC is November 5th, 2011, benefitting Colon Cancer Awareness. I'm sticking my flag in the ground...this is my first fitness goal. Be able to finish a 5k and not be the last place runner, finishing a solid 3 hours later. If you are interested in joining a team, or donating, please let me know. I'm excited to do this, wanted to try some sort of event to motivate my fitness, and to pick one that is for cause, and especially one that ties into what Shannon is going to....it's just perfect.

New Era

Technically, it's still within 3 weeks, so that doesn't count as letting this thing go, right?

Darcy is 1 month old. Her weight issues are clearly in the dust, she's up to 6 lbs, 12 oz. She had gained 4 oz at the first doctor's appointment, back on my last post. Then she gained another 6 to get back to birth weight one week later, and gained a full 16 in the past two weeks. So, no more medical issues. Now we can just focus on the normal newborn stuff. Like trouble sleeping at night. She was better the past two nights with a humidifier in the room, but before that, we were practically having to hold her while she slept. Didn't remember Noah having that issue. The main thing now is just remembering all the little things that come up with newborns. Like how sometimes, she'll be mad until I stand and hold her. As soon as I sit, no dice. I'll get used to it....again

Noah is becoming every bit of a 3 year old. While that includes better performance in his toileting and being a sharp, observant chatterbox, it also include the terrible parts. Like trying to bite my shirt if I tell him "Noah, you can't possibly play with a guitar, a castle, two cars, and a cheetah all at the same time, please put some toys away". The worst is some of the things he says. I'm not talking curse words...I think we pretty much nipped that one by watching our own mouths and reminding him what was naughty, mistake words. No, this is much tougher. Like, when he doesn't like something we've told him to do or not do..."You don't ever say that again". I'm like "WTF kid???". But then, I remember, when he said something mean, I told him "Don't ever use that language". So he's really just trying to emulate us. Crap. Aanother good example is when he tried to run into the street, telling him "Don't ever do that". Yup, that got turned right back around on us. Also, not to brag, but my kid is uber-good at taking pictures. We got his spring pictures back and need to decide on a picture order. But it's too hard, because all his pictures look awesome. And he can suprise me a lot with the things he can do physically. Like about 3 weeks ago, we took him to an inflatable play place. So they have one of those big slides where you have to climp up the side and can slide down a 25 foot slide. Naturally, I'm too heavy to go on these things, so I was watching from the side. I was sure he wasn't going to be able to climb it, but sure enough...he climbed the thing about 5 times. On the 5th, he finally got scared of going down the slide. That gave me a nice 5 minute fright, trying to figure out how I'd go up and get him being that I'd probably cause the whole thing to pop.

Speaking of that...I finally decided to do something about this weight. I've been overweight...since grade school really. When I entered college, I was probably a decent enough weight, but Freshman 15 turned into Sophmore 30, turned into Junior 45, etc, etc. When I got married, I was at about 220 pounds and maintaining. But then, when Shannon got pregnant with Noah, I jumped to about 240. Since then, I've gained another 20, putting me at 260. Once I saw I'd jumped over 250, something just clicked with me. My BMI puts me in morbid obesity. Morbid. Diseased. This isn't just me being overweight, this is bad health. I think I've always put Noah, Darcy, and Shannon's health in front of my own, but the longer I stay this weight, the worse it'll be in the long run, and the harder it'll be to get back down.

So, after my team at worked kicked off a Fitness Challenge earlier this year, I decided to knuckle down and really start getting this under control. My plan, for now, is to use SparkPeople again to track calories, fat, carbs, and protein. Add into that, I'm trying to do about 3 days a week of walking/jogging or cardio DVD. I prefer the walking/jogging, because I can listen to my music and go at my own pace, but the cardio DVD is more convenient because I can do it in the living room. Progress will probably be slow, but I'm already down to about 258. My goal is to get to 160 by April 2012. 160 puts me JUST over the "healthy weight" line on the BMI scale. Hopefully, the weight loss and the exercise will also prep me to be able to do th Fit Challenge at work. It's going to take some time (They were using the Army Fit Test Guidelines), but my plan is to get in a respectable range there too. UPDATE: I also found this, which goes hand in hand with the "Army measuring stick"...http://usmilitary.about.com/od/army/l/blmaleweight.htm. My max weight for my height and age is 169-174. So 160 is a good target.

The dieting isn't too bad, because as long as I cut the right things out in the right places, I can still enjoy a splurge here and there. Example, one day this week Noah wanted Taco Bell. Instead of ordering my "usual meal" (2 Beef Chalupas, 1 taco = 930 calories, 56 g fat), I got 2 Chicken Gorditas and 1 taco, for 710 calories and 30 g fat. Still not the best for a diet, but I'm finding that cutting an unhealthy bit here or there makes a big difference.

So, between the dieting, the newborn, and the Terrible 3s coming, looks like a Brand New Era for the Hamilton Household.

Open Letter to the (former) NFLPA and the NFL Owners

I missed the boat with the lockout occurring while we were in the hospital with Darcy. I try not to take sides, but since the owners wanted to continue negotiating and made a last minute offer where they finally made a lot of concessions, I think I blame the players a bit more right now. I know there's still tons of time, but now that you decertified, which triggered the owners to begin the lockout, there are going to be moutains of lawsuits to clear before you can strike a deal.

But this letter is squarely aimed at both sides. Because in the end, this is a give and take situation, and the owners only gave a little bit...

You can all count your money, which is still probably decent even with no football. Ticket holders can cry foul about the money they put out for tickets, but it will be returned. We can all gripe about what we'll do on Sundays, but there are plenty of things we can do.

The thing that puts this labor tragedy in perspective for me is how my 2 year old son, who's been talking about going to Ravens Training Camp NON-STOP since it left Westminster, now has to be told that he probably can't go to Training Camp this year, because it won't happen. Maybe they get a deal done late and it's held at M&T Bank Stadium, which is fine, I'll take him to it once or twice. But having to try to explain to a 2 year old everyday why this great thing known as football won't be around for him to watch? That's just wrong.

Take it with a grain of salt, but there are just somethings about this lockout/decertification/money grubbing which really get tired. Congrats football, you've managed to get me excited for baseball.

Oops, I done it again...

Over/under on how long I'll stick with blogging again: 3 weeks, or 4 blog posts

So, much has happened since our vacation...That was 9 months ago. About the time it takes to grow a baby...oh wait...

Yup, so we're officially a clan now. Not just a trio, we added a 2nd guitarist to our merry little band. We found out in July 2010, discovered the baby was a she in November 2010, and named her Darcy Noelle shortly after. The original plan was to have a C-section on March 15th, at 39 weeks pregnant. On March 8th, the doctor sent Shannon for a non-stress test to make sure the baby was moving okay. I can clearly remember the discussion as she was going in for the test, because she wanted BBQ for dinner, but we had no idea when the test would be done, so I had just planned to make something for Noah and we'd figure out dinner afterwards. Well, around 8pm that plan went out the window because as they were doing the non-stress test, they saw Shannon was contracting, and pretty regularly and quickly. After an overnight observation, her doctor advised us to go with the C-section a week early, since he was confident Darcy was good enough to go and the contractions wouldn't stop with meds or fluids.

So, at 12:28pm on March 9th, we brought baby #2 into the world. So in addition to coming a week early, our second suprise was when they weighed her. Noah was...a big baby. 9 lbs 5 oz, 21 inches long, pretty heavyweight size for a baby, even at 42 weeks. As the doctors measured Shannon during her pregnancy, they came to the conclusion that Darcy would be BIGGER if not as big as Noah. So imagine our shock when the scale read 5 lbs 12 oz. 62% of Noah's birthweight. I actually decided to put their scale pictures side by side to compare...

Image wouldn't fit here...

So when she then dropped birthweight, it got even scarier for us, getting down to 5 lbs, 2 oz by the time we left the hospital. She's maintained since then, and we'll hear from the doctor today if she's gained. If she hasn't, I have to know where it's going. We're trying to let her dictate when she eats, but we usually supplement at 4 hours with about 40 cc of milk if she isn't eating. She's been eating much better, so I have to think the weight is about to come up.

Noah has been taking it in stride. We're all adjusting to new routines. Noah has been waking up and running into Darcy's room before we can get him. This wouldn't be an issue, but he likes trying to poke her. Also, he's waking up at around 4am or 5am, which is crazy early considering it takes him until 8:30 or 9 to go to sleep. We've been adjusting too. He's very pushy for an almost 3 year old, and since we're already stressed about Darcy, we end up getting frustrated a lot. Most recent example is the football shirts. Noah has two Redskin shirts and two Ravens shirts. Over time, it's gotten to be that he will try re-wearing the shirts a 2nd day in a row, or throwing a fit if we ask him to wear a non-football shirt. I think we both reached a breaking point on Saturday. All his football shirts were dirty, so we put him in a guitar shirt. I didn't count, but he must've told us around 40 times on Saturday that he wanted to wear his football shirt. And he's also in that "flip-flop phase" now. The one where when I ask him to make a decision, he says "okay I want spaghetti for dinner. No! I was ham steak. No Ham Steak! I want spaghetti...". He's still an awesome kid, and I love him like crazy, but he's definitley a 3 year old in his mannerisms.

And that's been my life for the past two weeks. I have work emails open, but they've smartly not included me in many things because I end up doing stuff even when i'm supposed to be ignoring work. I start working again tomorrow, albeit from home so that we can begin making sure Shannon can handle everything without me around (driving, getting lunch, getting things to drink, etc). More to elaborate on later, hopefully I can stick with this blog thing for longer than a month. We shall see...

The Griswolds, we are not...

Ah, the relaxation of vacation...Or, broken down into more verbose terms...the stress and craziness of packing everything up, the uncomfortableness of a long car ride, the stress and craziness of getting settled into your vacation spot, a rush of a few days of grat fun, the stress and craziness of getting everything RE-PACKED, the uncomfortableness of another long car ride, then back to reality.

This year's adventure journey found us going tent camping in Pigeon Forge, TN for a week. The trip went pretty well...we had some stressful moments, like Noah picking this week to begin the typical 2yo tantrums, sleeping (the first couple nights were a bit rough, but by the last 3, I had a good routine down where we waited until 8:30-8:45 for bedtime routine and it went about as clockwork as it does at home. Napping was a different story), the campsite in general...but we had a lot of fun at Dollywood and Splash Country, we did a bit of random exploring which was cool, and the view of the Smoky Mountains was great pretty much EVERYWHERE you went.

I won't get too much into the play-by-play though...this blog entry is going to focus on two or three gripes that came up during the trip...

1. The Natural Bridge - This is, as the name says, a natural archway crated by Cedar Creek which is about 200 feet tall. You see a lot of signs for this coming down I-81, and we decided on the way there, how often are we really going to be here? Let's check this out. Well, after driving about 5 miles, you come to the "Natural Bridge Entrance Building", which is where you can buy your 18 DOLLAR ticket to see the Natural Bridge. Seriously??? In what world can you justify an 18 dollar price to see a natural landmark? I really want to know the justification for what the 18 dollars does, other than simply make money for someone. To make matters even MORE frustrating...so we decide nevermind, let's just head back to the road. As you drive past this big canyon where the bridge is, THEY PUT UP 10 FOOT HIGH FENCES to make sure people who didn't pay can't get a glimpse of this thing. Completely ridiculous! Especially when you read about the bridge, and how it was a sacred site for the Native American Monacan tribe. So, let's celebrate how sacred it was by charging an arm and a leg for someone to see such a thing of beauty.

2. Common decency - I've been to camp sites with a shared bathouse a couple times before, so this isn't new, but it just boils to the surface for me again. We were at this camp 6 days. Literally, every day, I came across at least once a toilet that hadn't been flushed. Really? In what world does it make sense to drop your business and then just walk out saying "That's how I roll!" I mean, HOW HARD is it to turn around once you've finished and hit a damn lever! And the one time both toilets were clean, the urinal had been used as an ashtray. It's just nasty and really gets me wondering the train of thought going through the mind of whoever did that..."Eh, we pay the campsite to clean the bathroom, so they will flush it for me...Too much work for me to do it". It wasn't just the toilets either. Once or twice, I came in to find someone had just left the shower on full blast. Because clean water is this thing that we can just demand whenever we want it, it'll NEVER run out.

I guess those were my only two soapbox things that came up on vacation. To balance out the negative, I have come to really appreciate places that have splash pads. I swear, Noah could've spent 8 hours straight at the splash pads at Splash Country.

Your Forgotten Orioles

Wow, I almost forgot about the big Orioles news that happened this past week. That's not a good sign, Orioles!

So Dave Trembley joins the League of Failed Oriole Managers...so I guess he can join Mike Hargrove, Lee Mazzilli, Sam Perlozzo, and Ray Miller in chomping on a cigar and laughing at the Oriole Front Office who are trying to figure out a way out of 13 seasons of losing baseball. I'd feel bad for him, but honestly, I think even Dave wanted out by the end...

I don't follow the Orioles very closely anymore, but I try to keep tabs and be analytical. So, the big question for EVERYONE is WHAT IS THE #$!#@ PROBLEM? How is it teams like Tampa Bay and Toronto can go through reboots and win within a year or two? I understand that a reboot is supposed to take time, but you are also supposed to IMPROVE! In the past 3 years under MacPhail, we have gotten WORSE EVERY YEAR!

So, what do you change?

The manager - It's a band aid on an amputation. Does anyone really expect Juan Samuel to have more luck than Dave Trembley? Does anyone really think if we kidnapped Joe Torre and made him manage here, we'd suddenly be a winning baseball team? Players make the plays, or in our case, SEVERLY SCREW UP the plays

The GM - AMP is the next one on the hot seat...but he hasn't done a lot wrong. Gonzalez was a bad idea, I'll give you that. Atkins hasn't worked out, but he was supposed to be a low risk, low reward stopgap. Tejada hasn't been bad, all things considered. So then you'd have to go after him for not bringing in top dollar talent. But, the great teams grow their players, not buy them. Even the stupid pinstripes have begun growing arms and bats more than buying them. And we've been stockpiling our minor league prospects. And then, look at our prospects last year...Wieters looked like he was putting it together, Adam Jones was a Gold Glover, Nolan Reimold was crushing the ball before his injury, Bergesen was pitching lights out, Matusz was looking good for a greenhorn...but then this year, they all fell apart.

The Players - See above...plus, we can't keep changing player strategy every 2 years. About 4-5 years ago, we went the route of buying the talent when we grabbed Ponson, Javy Lopez, Miguel Tejada, and Raffy. We traded for Sosa a year later too. That did us NO GOOD.

So what? What can be done? Because I can't figure out a damn thing. We don't even have a consistent problem. It used to be our pitching, but our starting pitching (until 2 weeks ago) was being solid. Our bullpen sucks too, but we've been moving failed starters there, so it should get better? Our hitting sucks, but what move do we take there? Brining in one big bat can't solve this. And we tried getting a ton of prospects, none of them are putting 2 and 2 together in the minors.

So, amidst this time of change for the O's, my hopes are bottoming out. All I can hope is this is just 13 years of bad luck stored up and brought on us all in one season. I remember in Brian Billick's last season with the Ravens, where we lost 9 straight, there was a quote from one of the players..."Last year, every bounce went our way...This year, every bounce is going the other way" That about sums up the Orioles. Anything that can go wrong for them, anything you can imagine, ends up happening. Can you even wrap your ahead around who we'll send to the All-Star Game? In all fairness to the rest of the MLB, we should be barred. No one on this team has played well enough to merit an All-Star nod.

So, best to you Juan Samuel. But don't unpack your stuff in the manager's office. As a matter of fact, for your sake, I would start calling other teams and ask for them to take pity and let you be their bench coach or something.